You love orange, still

a feeling which i never wanted

Sunday, August 27, 2006

what would you do if you lose something, rather someone close , very close, suddenly... dont you feel that your days ahead would be meaningless, your life will be so empty, your every necessities will no longer be a need, there is nothing you can do them right or rather, nothing for you to do, just cause he is no longer around.

there would be no one for you to relay on, no one to help you when you are in need, no one to care for you when you are sick, no one is there for you when you are lonely, no one to accompany you for late supper, no one to send you home or cover you with his arms when the breeze past by, no one for you to hug when you need security...

the usual things that you would do for him is no longer needed. whenever you went shopping with your girlfriends, you would always check things out for him, like shoes, ties, shirt, but there is no longer a need to do so. you would find yourself choosing the suitable one for him till when you got to pay them then you realise, no one gonna wear them, isnt this feeling a urgh?

there is no work for you tml, but you still wake up at 7am, just cause thats the time he have to wake up and you got to give him a ring to ensure that he will not be late for work, no one picks up on the othe end, you start to panic then you realise, that he will not be able to do so anymore... the normal routine of yours no longer involves him when it does so much in the past, every routine involves him from getting up from bed till the last minute before you sleep.

the sweet little actions that you thought for days will not be put to use, the meaningful dinner which you took the whole day to buy the stuff and whip them up would not be appreciated, the sweet smelling him which you can huddle on every now and then, the smell has become fainter. the 2 hour daily chats that you will have with him over the phone, the short messages which you got, have they all became memories...

isnt thats saddening? isnt it? ouhhh~~~

ok lahz, actually, i got this feeling from a teevee show... its that sad, imagine lahz, someone you couldn't live without suddenly went away from you, forever... how? how? how? i dont think i can handle it... time do heals, but might take like decades...

f lu t t er ing @ 6:07 PM :)