Friday, November 17, 2006
ok, this will be a super random post. dont read it. its nothing... i'm just expressing whatever is flashing through my thoughts right at these few days... only shitters continue. Oops^^
haiz...
haiz...
haiz...
not that these haiz are going through me. but i just feel great haiz-ing cos i'm having too much things in my mind. haiz took them off for a little while and they come back almost as soon as just. but even for a split second, i will HAIZ. and someone told me, haiz-ing will shorten your life. izzit you, gl? or lao ban? i cant remember. anyway, really meh?
ok, i was hit twice. hard! this week. quizes and quizes... wazz up with all these quizes man. they seems to be flowing in endlessly. trace was my suicide. wth is initial D there the previous night. shitties! i'm so glued to the teevee cos of the cars, and not jay chou please... ok, this is just an excuse. pheesh...
chem eng. i needed time. i needed like hundreds of hours and tons of energy the night before to finish up all my tutorials, past year quizes and pre-quiz questions. i needed them. but they are never them for me. obviously i failed. though its 2 ques, with 3parts to each, i never gotten an answer for any part. no answer at all!!! how serious is this? i hope the steps working marks do help. i really do. i'm begging for luck for it now. damn! how come i have become so pathetic...
for tml, its Forensic chem. my fav. haa, but what is electropherosis? luckily, i did the experiment and i really do. to be a forensic chemist, you needed to be creative, think out of principles, have a toolbox with endless space, be flexible, be persistent, know your own limits and gave the correct resuts, assume nothing and be resourceful. ok! this will be the ans for one of tml's questions. I AM SURE! hehe~
and reports, i have one due next week which is coming in another 3 days and i hasent touch it, one just came down today and it is by super strict itself ong chin choon. there is no delay or space for discussion for this. i have to finish it by hook or by crook or be set in his blacklist as "out-of-control", otherwise, i think i'd be better off jump down the building. haa, kidding larhz~
anyway, yup, enough of school. my life is boring, isnt it? i told you... hahahha, hmmm, great things are coming up. my dad will be discharge tml. and its like, when the doc break the news to us, i am affirm! i didnt cry or what. ok, my parents they did. and from this, i can say my family is a very emo family. we cry easily when things like family touch us. yup, we cry. its nothing to be ashame of, K!
my bro cried when he was going to ns, remember? he cant bear to separate with us. haa, i nearly cried too. but i'm of thicker skin, i guess, i force it all back in. and now, last week, the news broke, my mum cried lahz. when i see people cry, ok, i cry damn easily. so my mum cried. my dad didnt know english. if i were to cry, who is going to communicate with the doc. and mind you, its only a very very little small operation.
i forced myself and i didnt! discussed with the doc and understand the procedures and everything of the operation. then, i faced my dad and SHIT! he was filled with tears too. wah, then me too, i can feel the tears. i push it all in. all, go in go in! so i asked him and we finally decided on the operation. ok, this is the first operation on my dad. so we are quite freak out when the doc says the only solution if to go for an operation. that explains the crying...
and yup, you think i didnt cry? no, you are so wrong. i cry, but no one will ever know. ermm, i cried yesterday. ya, i finally cry. its too hard to swallow when yesterday situation was like... my dad, for the first time, i see him so weak. i cant stand it. he was always that strong daddy. and, i wanna call someone, then i realise, no one... SO, anyway, now, operation is all over. i shant talk about it. my dad is all well and fine!
so yup, thats what i've been going through. and i never ever wanted to be a patient anymore. i shall be good and sleep early and have lots of rest and lots of water. cos being a patient, you need to have lots of patience. doctors are always slow. and you got to wait here wait there. the waiting is going to kill me sia. but luckily, i got my mummy and daddy. and i'm sure daddy needed support from me. even if i am just there, outside the operation room, he know that the whole family of us is waiting for him. then, he will have the confidence and support. so he would be less afraid.
the best support i ever wanted is from my family, and my aunts and uncles. yesh! they are great! they are so damn concern about my daddy and called once they knew the operation is over. oh no~ i'm so touched. but this is my mother's side of cos. when its my father's side. i shall keep my mouth shut, cos whatever i say, they will condemned and say no, you shouldn't say things these way. and start talking about THEIR OWN FACTS. i dont need THEIR FACTS. what i believe in is the doc's facts and my own trusted facts. i'm old enough to think of what i am saying ok. its call precautions and they shut me up.
pheesh, i shall not bother with them and they will not bother me.
anyway, this weekend is going to be a busy weekend in my house because all my aunts and uncles form ym mother's side will come by, have a dinner and start chatting and concerning over my dad. i will be so touched and i cant wait for this gathering soon. haa, how much i needed their support is beyond their imaginations. i have depended too much on them. but i needed advice and comments from my trusted adults. i dont need other rubbish facts, ya?
so, now, i shall go sleep and this is a super personal post, dont talk about it. K? dont rat, dont, pheesh, look and FORGET. my blog my post, nothing better for discussion. i just typed down whatever i wanted. it can dont bother you at all. shoo~ tata^^ all shitters...
f lu t t er ing @ 12:49 AM :)
